
A viral meme making the rounds says that โAmerican badgers look like theyโre about to drag you into a back alley and pull a shiv on you to demand money for their meth habit. European badgers look like theyโre about to invite you over for a cup of tea and some custard creams at their little cottage in the country.โ
The difference in caricature may help explain the widely differing legal and environmental approaches to dealing with badgers as โpests.โ In America, badgers in Kansas (for instance) are a โprotected fur-bearing species that may be hunted or trapped.โ In Europe, however, they are insulated from practically any kind of human interference whatsoever. This difference in protections is more than an arcane legal trivialityโin some important ways, in fact, badgersโ legal protections help illuminate the labyrinthine extent of environmental regulations globally. They may also (we hope) portend the impending decline of overweening eco-tyranny.
Take Holland, for instance. Commuter trains between Den Bosch and Eindhoven were stopped recently, and passengers forced to add an hour-long detour to their daily grind. One might be forgiven for blaming this on an obscure Dutch rail strike or the like, but alas, the culprit was badgers (the tea-swilling kind, not the shiv-pulling kind). Dutch badgers have apparently taken to burrowing under train tracks, possibly delighting (as I feel badgers would) in the mayhem caused by the fact that Dutch engineers are forbidden from removing them. Pitting mankindโs prevailing modern environmental ethos against the basic strictures of modern transportation engineering is, from a badgerโs perspective, brilliant.
Authorities are in a bit of a pickle. Europeโs Nature Conservation Act prevents wild animals from being โdisturbed or removed from their natural environments.โ This creates something of a Catch-22 when wildlife decides that its favored โnatural environmentโ is a decidedly human-made one. Badgers happen to like the dry, elevated railway berms and apparently have no finicky qualms about railcars whizzing inches over their heads. And so Dutch engineers are scrambling to come up with ways to keep the modern railway system running while not falling afoul of a law which forbids the badgersโ outright removal.
The Dutch example is the epitome of regulatory sclerosisโthe moment when a fine network of restrictive rules and laws becomes so obstructive that it palpably slows societal function. Some of this derailing is accidentalโthe end of a line laid with good intentions. Much of it, however, is by design: Many who successfully advocate for environmental legislation like Europeโs Nature Conservation Act are fixedly determined to roll back human living standards, by โprioritizing nature above human consumption and development.โ They do this under the misguided apprehension that a pre-industrial age operated in a more harmonious balance with nature. This notion is, of course, complete balderdash. The ostensibly bucolic pre-industrial days were no gentler on the environment (think mass deforestation and wildlife extermination) than it was on humanity. Advocating for the return to an age when children could be reliably counted upon to die of typhus is no more likely to โsaveโ nature than advocating for the return to an age when slash-and-burn was de rigueur.
Voters tend to like environmental protection measures in the abstract, but when it starts to impinge on their lived experience (by, say, tacking an hour onto their commute), there will be political hell to pay. In some sectors, this has already begun. Massive protests by Dutch farmers over increasingly draconian environmental restrictions prompted an historic political upheaval in Hollandโs parliament, with the Farmer-Citizen movement winning an upset election on a platform that pushes back against meddlesome bureaucracy. In Spain, as well, protests against over-stringent environmental restrictions threaten to unbalance the prevailing power structures.
We will see more of this. As ever more stringent measures are taken to โcurb climate change,โ for instance, ever more anger will erupt over their impositions. The days of distant elites toying with our lives, in other words, are numbered. The hit reality series Clarksonโs Farm illustrates this tension in a delightfully comedic way. It depicts the tribulations of a modern, nature-loving British couple attempting to navigate the vagaries of local, national, and trans-national restrictions on their aspirations. Interestingly enough, the star of the show Jeremy Clarkson โ like the Dutch authorities โ finds himself in a badger conundrum as well, as their expanding population threatens to infect his cow herd with tuberculosis.
His advisor remarks: โUnfortunately, Jeremy, youโre facing one of the most heavily legislated mammals in the country.โ
Jeremy replies: โYou canโt shoot them?โ
โNo.โ
โOr gas them?โ
โNo.โ
โOr fill in their holes?โ
โNo. Itโs always no.โ
Clarksonโs Farm is riven with Jeremyโs astonishment and frustration at the degree to which he is prevented from โjust getting on with thingsโ by faceless bureaucracies. The showโs popular success is a testament to the nerve it strikes within a generally fed-up public. Those nattering nabobs of nannyism, who for decades have found ways to forestall the independent actions of their fellow men, may soon discover that those tracks lead nowhere.
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