Is it really too expensive to have children? It’s easy to find headlines claiming that raising a child in America today has become prohibitively expensive. Today, the richest countries of the world are experiencing the lowest birth rates, and young Americans often cite financial constraints as the main reason for not having children. My generation, wealthier than any other in human history, perceives children as unaffordable.

What is the origin of this common, but misguided, belief that average Americans can no longer afford children? Much of the blame rests with the barrage of articles and headlines that sensationalize the expense of child-rearing. One such headline comes from The Economist magazine, which estimates that it costs $300,000 to raise a child in the US. The magazine even released a viral video titled Is It Worth Having Kids? An expert from the Brookings Institution, Isabel Sawhill, estimates the cost at $310,000. Even the US Department of Agriculture published an estimate of $250,000. With inflation pushing this figure higher every year, many young people begin to perceive child rearing as too costly. 

But does this account for all the critical economic factors, or is it missing some key elements? Consider this: would you ever pursue a degree if you were only told how expensive universities are and never about the prospects of higher post-graduation income? Would you ever open a business if you only heard about difficulty and expense, but rarely about success?

It is true that the costs of raising children today have greatly increased. However, it is also true that happily married couples enjoy increased income levels. But this economic reality is not similarly publicized.

Marriage Premium

The “marriage premium” refers to the economic and social benefits that married individuals experience compared to their single counterparts. Married couples to combine incomes and assets while simultaneously benefiting from economies of scale and reduced redundant expenses. More important, the marriage premium is the increased stability, motivation, and support that benefit married individuals and in turn boost their productivity, career advancement, and wealth.

The marriage premium for the average American family amounts to an additional $20,000 to $40,000 in income per year. Over a 40- to 45-year career, this could amount to $1 million to $2 million higher lifetime earnings. The data show that for the average American family, the increased financial well-being of marriage is sufficient to cover the commonly reported $300,000 cost of raising an American child several times over.

DINKs Prove the Point

To further illustrate the impact of the marriage premium, consider the lifestyle of DINKs—Dual Income, No Kids couples. This group is anything but homogenous. Voluntarily childless couples can be found in every socio-economic demographic. You’ve likely seen videos of mid-career DINKs on social media showcasing their luxurious lifestyles. In these videos, they claim to be able to afford NYC penthouses and grand vacations. Comparing how their lifestyle is presented with how overwhelmingly expensive raising a child is reveals the hypocrisy of the social media/scrolling universe we all live in.

The wealth that such DINK couples display shouldn’t be surprising. They benefit from the same marriage premium that married couples with children do – they may pool their incomes, enjoy economies of scale, support each other through financIal challenges, and benefit from tax breaks and shared retirement benefits. DINK couples are a living testimony to the marriage premium at work, demonstrating how two adults in a stable marriage can afford quite a lot.

Younger people should not be misled to believe that having children has become completely unaffordable. Social media influences and the data both demonstrate that the $1 million marriage premium is real and more than enough to cover the estimated $300,000 cost of raising a child multiple times over.

It is important that we reframe the discussion around U.S. parenting costs. Currently, this issue is framed as a macroeconomic, $300,000 problem that logically requires a political (macroeconomic) solution. But the marriage premium is one example of a local, decentralized (microeconomic) solution to the problem. Even though 42 percent of marriages end in divorce, for the 58 percent of couples who stay married throughout their lives, family is still a powerful engine of economic prosperity. For these millions of Americans working through challenges to ensure a strong and lasting marriage, the net cost of a child can essentially be zero dollars.